And, hey, we’re not judging – it wouldn’t be the same without them…
A staple in every company calendar – wedged firmly between the first mulled wine hangover of the season and the last working day of the year – the annual work Christmas party is what can only be described as unique.
A culmination of yet another 365 days worth of employment and a chance for your boss to thank you for the past twelve months that have seemingly, once again, ‘flown by in a flash’, it’s finally time to don that tinsel and enjoy another round of Mariah Carey (unless you’ve hired some more upmarket work Christmas party entertainment this year) and all the vino.
With the party season almost upon us, we’ve brought you the 4 types of human you can expect to run into at this year’s festivities.
You know the score. An open bar and they’re like a moth to a flame. Usually pretty stealthy with their beverage orders and stocking up on table wine early doors, you probably won’t notice their excessive intake until you catch a glimpse of them sitting with your boss, gesticulating wildly, seemingly in conversation, as they stare back… dumbfounded. Will they still have a job tomorrow? Who knows. And right now? Who cares.
Ah, our favourite sort of yuletide clanger. First to hit the floor, seamlessly reciting lyrics to every Christmas song ever made and beckoning to all and sundry to join them in a dance. A few glasses in and they think they’re the Patrick Swayze of Milton Keynes, sweating profusely in their festive jumper and bouncing along to Wham!’s, Last Christmas. Let’s face it, there’s nothing quite like an overzealous party goer and we wholeheartedly salute your efforts, Dancefloor Dave!
Yep, you know the ones. They’ve spent months on end suppressing their feelings for the love of their life sitting in accounts, dodging them in the kitchen and going on endless Tinder dates to distract themselves from their office crush. And now here it is. The one night of the year they think it’s a good idea to let them (and usually everyone else in the room) know how they really feel. Wildly hilarious for your Christmas party entertainers who are watching on, not so funny for that poor soul when they wake up with a pounding headache and a vague recollection of a conversation they wish they’d never had… Asprin, anyone?
The Mr or Mrs Clause
There’s always someone who lives for the office Christmas party, isn’t there? Waiting all year for their chance to shine in front of their team as the festive fanatic they truly are. Decked in a completely unironic Christmas jumper knitted for them by their great-aunt Julie and sporting a garish piece of headwear eagerly sourced from Poundland back in August, they’ll be at the epicentre of every single celebration to be had. Carol singing? You’ll find them on the pianist’s knee. Secret Santa gift giving? They’re the ones calling the names. Turkey feast? Yep, you guessed it. They’ll be carving that roast beast.
Truth is, dreading it or not, your seasonal work do is just around the corner, and if you’ve been left to source a venue and book the office Christmas party entertainment? Why not make sure you and yours have a stellar time this year by booking the finest live jazz band in Essex and London instead?